losing grace

Grace was ill her whole life. She was a woman that was small, slight like a bird, who walked softly and made the whole room seem silver. She was never older than twenty-four.

Alistair was a man already on his way to greatness, with red cheeks and dark stubble, and people flocked to him every day.

He knew of her through the company he kept with, and she could not help but know of him. He would be the Guildmaster, taking over from an old and sour father who was only getting worse with age. A temper like a volcano that still couldn’t keep his young son in check.

Alistair seemed to date the whole town. It was a small town, and he knew how to keep things friendly. There were no evil exes in the wings, hiding behind the curtains and waiting to take a swipe at the next person on stage. He did it remarkably well. And he was never short of company.

Grace did not care. Love seemed an inconvenience. She had her own little world where she had made a home, and had no desire to leave it behind. It was a little house in her mind, nicely furnished, with stripy bed sheets and a little teal kettle of her own. She took no notice of him till her teenage years were behind her, and for a little longer after that. There was always a splattering of good sense with her, whether you could see it or not.

What got her attention in the end was his voice. Soft and deep in a way that reminded her of molasses. It was on one ordinary night in the tavern; she with her friends, he with his. But of course, his friend was every person in the room. A song that he loved came on and he stood up in the centre of the room, hair falling into his face, making a scene. A good scene. He walked around and finally knelt in front of her, singing the chorus.

Hazel meeting dark brown. It happened just like that.

Well, for him, anyway. She became the sparrow that kept pecking at his thoughts until he could bear it no longer.

The first time, they went to a place they had both been many times before. The town square on market day. The colours almost suffocated her and she loved it. It opened her eyes to the sights around her. He took her to the fruit stalls, and they had strawberries for lunch; she showed him the gemstones that claimed to heal. He thought it silly to believe in things like that. She thought he knew how to be charming, but doubted there was much beneath the exterior. They left with smiles on their faces, and for the first time in a long time she was able to walk all the way home.

The second and third time he chose the places, but the fourth was hers. She drank coffee now, so they started with that, and from there she led the way. There were places in the town that even the future Guildmaster had not seen, but Grace had been everywhere. When she was younger, before it had got so bad, all she did was wander. Now all the wandering she did was in her mind. Even so, they went to her favourite places, and when she got tired he carried her.

They talked about everything. The other girls he was seeing, the music she was listening to now. It was an unfiltered honesty he had found with her, and he never found the same thing after she had gone. He forgot how to lie. And she forgot how to remain a mystery.

There was many before Grace, and quite a few even after. But when I asked him how he knew my mother was the one, this is what he told me.

‘During that time…’ Alistair stopped, and breathed in deeply. ‘Once I had met her, once I knew her truly… I knew I never wanted to be with anyone else. I only had these eyes for her, you know.’

When I heard that, all I wanted to do was know was she had looked like. But the photos are gone. I never will. All that’s left is the silver ring on my finger, with the opal she chose in the centre.

‘Not for want of trying to ignore it, mind you. I dated in those two years. I had some good times and thought, maybe I can just forget her! There’s plenty of people interested and I could be happy. Happy enough.’ He paused.

‘But she was the one. And I always knew. That’s why I didn’t give up! Try as I did to push her out of my mind, I couldn’t. I’d be fine with someone else but as soon as I saw Grace again… I’d forget the other person ever meant a thing to me. That’s how I knew.’

He looked at me. A familiar dark brown. ‘Does that clear anything up for you?’

Yes, dad, it did. More than you’ll ever know.

[Image: Grace’s ring. Source: Dani Relbyn. Used with permission]